Self-Esteem and Perfectionism
How you feel about yourself affects everything in your life
Perfectionism and it's Hidden Cost-
"Everybody says it's good to be a perfectionist, but it's making me burnt out and I don't enjoy even the smallest projects..."
People who struggle with perfectionism are often rewarded for driving themselves to exhaustion and having high expectations of themselves. But underneath the surface, there can be an inner negative cycle of low self esteem that leads to high expectations and perfectionism that again leads to low self-esteem when those super-human expectations inevitably cannot be met.
Having high expectations of yourself is a way of escaping the anxiety of failure and low self esteem, but it doesn't have to be that way.
When you have a fear that you are ‘not enough’, you use perfectionism as a defense or protective mechanism. This worked during childhood when, in order to gain the approval of a caretaker, you felt you couldn’t make mistake, that you had to be perfect in order to not feel shame or unworthiness.
"Ok, you named the problem, but how do I change it? I'm tired of this toxic cycle."
The whole thing backfires when you can’t meet those impossible standards that you set for yourself. And because our self-worth can be caught up in your achievements, this sets off a cascade of feeling even worse about yourself if you can’t meet these expectations.
So how do you change it? By rewiring your brain to enjoying the process, not the outcome. YOU are not the outcome, and you can discover who you are apart from achievements and results.
The Bottom Line -
Your ideas, your voice, and who you are is what needs to be loved and cared for, not matter what.
We are here to help-
Therapy for self-esteem and perfectionism can help you to discover your real self-worth, to begin to cherish who you really are – separate from your achievements.
Re-wiring the brain takes time and the care with the care and focus of targeted CBT therapy as well as processing old wounds that led to you feeling that you needed to prove your worth through achievement.
You can do this! The freedom of true self confidence and self-esteem are yours for the taking, you just need to intend to allow for imperfection and messiness, and caring for yourself through that process.
