Premarital Counseling
Let Me Just Start With This - All Couples Have Issues.
There is nothing wrong with you as a couple if you have fights
We all find ourselves getting hijacked into a negative cycle at times. This is inevitable and I don’t know of anyone who doesn’t. Of course, people tend to present their best selves to the world and their friends, so internal strife may not be as apparent to you in your friend group, in the media, and otherwise.
The couples who never let off steam through the occasional argument can have a harder time.
Things can build up. Resentments can simmer and eventually it all comes bubbling up in a bigger argument. That said, all couples have a negative cycle or two that gets triggered during more stressful situations including commitment and marriage, the lack of sleep and time around having a baby, times of transition, or old childhood trauma that can revisit in your relationship. Sometimes it’s around in-laws or siblings, major changes, or big decisions.
It’s always a great idea to get ahead of your negative cycle.
We can work to really understand what your ‘negative pattern’ looks like, what triggers it, and what to do about it.
This can give you the tools to handle disconnection and stress in the relationship more seamlessly and with grace.
In the sessions, your therapist coaches you to understand where your reactivity comes from, how you interpret your partner’s behavior, and how to get underneath the reactive cycle by becoming vulnerable.
Sessions help you to get clear about your patterns and practice the new communication style of the ‘positive cycle’ that we would like to help you to cultivate.
Getting to the root of your negative cycle can give you the confidence to handle future bumps in your relationship.
In premarital counseling, we work on identifying your negative pattern that is driven by reactivity and triggers.
We work to distill the 0-60 reactive state into the more vulnerable emotions that are driving the reactivity. For example, frustration and anger are often driven by fear and hurt.
Shutting down, freezing, or getting defensive are usually driven by a sense of feeling wrong, bad, or helpless.
By getting to those vulnerable emotions, connection is often re-established, along with repair and an even closer bond than before.
We are here to help you on your journey.
Premarital counseling will help you solidify your bond and connection to one-another, to anticipate any bumps along the way, and to help you gain confidence in your communication. We hope to significantly increase your ability to handle misunderstandings, stress, and become more seamless at clearly asking for what you need and being vulnerable in that ask.
